No, no, Milo!

I am having some good times with my 15-month old son, Milo. He and I and our friend "NO!"

You see, Milo is always making mischief. He loves to toddle over to the dishwasher and try to crawl in. He loves to put anything and everything in his mouth. He loves to squirm and try to flip off the dressing table. He loves to stand up in the slippery bath tub. He loves to use his "Kung Fu Grip" to latch onto my hair, my glasses, the cat's tail.

Consequently, he hears "No" pretty frequently.

Is it any wonder that he also says "no" a lot as well?

Sometimes as he toddles around the room he mutters "No, no, Milo" to himself! We've got to teach this kid some new words! On the other hand, I respect the strength and economy of Milo's favorite word. Here are some of the things that I like about NO.

• NO gets your attention.
• NO is unambiguous.
• NO may free you from drains on your time and energy.
• NO will help you raise your standards.
• NO can be used gently or forcefully as needed.
• Sometimes when you say NO you are really saying YES to what is most true, most useful, most right or most worthy.

I'm not talking about being a jerk, I am just saying that we all need boundaries. I was reminded recently to practice flexing my "No Muscle." Like many people, and I think women in particular, I aim to please. I find it much, much easier to say "I'd be happy to." Interestingly, sometimes saying "Yes" to things we shouldn't can be a disservice to the people we are trying to please. We may deny them the opportunity to figure something out for themselves. We may be giving them a fish instead of teaching them to fish.

Enough musings on the "No Muscle."

I'm planning to work on teaching Milo to say "Hugs" next.